Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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