I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
