butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
