Someone shit on the floor
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
