just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
And then he peed in my hair
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