they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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