I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
