i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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