He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
