so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
