Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
