I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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