Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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