It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
is that a dick in a sweater?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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