I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
