So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
