normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
