ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
tell me about the fingering
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