Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
