Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
