Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
