and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
