the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
