your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Two words: blizzard sex
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
