are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
