I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
