his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
