Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
