Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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