You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
