I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
