I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
