first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
