Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
