Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
