so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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