He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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