he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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