What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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