Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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