Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
please come you make the beer taste better
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
