He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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