didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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