The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
