But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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