come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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