guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
