Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How's work?
Spinning.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
