508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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