she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
People in love make me want to vomit
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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