She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
