I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I am naked and annoyed.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize