I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
