Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
