What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
