Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
