Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize