wrigley field is MILF paradise
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Actions speak louder than pants.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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