why didn't you poke me back
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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