i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Found the puke drawer
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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