you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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