He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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