He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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