YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
