I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
