real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
