he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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